Dr. On A Diet?

drinking: diet dr. pepper
eating: pulled pork sandwiches.
listening to: Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
watching: These words appear on my screen.
feeling: depressed

just an update, these posts will be kinda short for a while since ive gotten to like....no news to talk about time. Also i've been really sick and usually when im sick it brings on spells of depression. so i've been feeling pretty depressed all day which is lame. i just finished laundry, before that i was at the store. i didnt get much but a ten dollar texting card, a few bras, some gum and some more vitamin water.

So im really bored which is why i decided to write this blog. i have to do a bunch of enviro sci homework which i dont feel like doing but i guess i have to sometime tonight. i just feel like taking a shower and sleeping, but i cant because i have to finish my laundry and then clean my room and hang up my shit and do enviro sci and logic homework :( MEH! *throws fit* but yeah. kristin's work is never done! since i've been depressed all i ever feel like doing is playing the sims 2 so thats why i havent gotten shit done this weekend.

there was this xoxo bag that was at Ross that i found yesterday. it was only 15.00 and SO SO SO cute! it was pink and white but mostly pink with faux crocidile stuff on it. when we went to get into the line for it the line was backed up to the end of the store so we just said fuckit and left the things there. :( but das okay, that was when we went and got my dress stuff :).

so since i got a 10.00 card instead of a 20.00 card *since i had to save some monies for riley's presenty* i will only have 1000 texts so no random texting and forwards please i wont dig that too much... anyways. riley's birthday is this Tuesday i believe and he's going to be 18 and yay for him! :) so hopefully this weekend he and i can go out and do something, i know i want to pay for him to get his ear peirced and then idk maybe something else. i just have to figure out what that something else is *looks into air for ideas....*

my little sis and i got eachother best friend wish bracelettes. i got her a blue and purple one, and she got me a pink, red, purple, and white one and she all got down on one knee to put it on me lol i was laughing hard lol. anyways... i found nail polish that is the exact same pink as my dress :) even though im going to be wearing black gloves with my dress im still going to put it on so i dont have to wear the gloves at dinner and stuff. and yeah.

i guess this is as long as i can make this post, i really got to go ahead and get started on all the things i have to do tonight. my clothes should be almost done so i need to hang up my clothes from the last load, then i need to clean my room and wait for the clothes to be done, then start on teh homiework and all that. :) ttyl. love you


Kristin.

stupid skank...

Okay so im going to keep this short and simple. I am in PAIN. i have a knot in my neck that is driving me WILD. seriously, it hurts BAD. I almost fell asleep in the shower last night, i crashed with my door open, which i havent done since i was like five.... im dying of sleep deprivation. hung out with my favorite cousin Christine and Kristy and Rachel today, then my mom, sister, and i went to the fabric place to choose a pattern and fabric for my dress that is being made for me...i cried because i fell in love with the pattern and the colors, and lets just saaaayyyy... i cant tell you what itll look like, but im going to be awesome in it, and it is pink :) i just need a sexy man date...and for all of it, it cost less than 100.00! what a buy! my sister, me and my parents went to ihop and had a nice dinner, then the stupid skank came and was acting like a total bitch as per usual...my dad farted on her on the way out and sister coughed and said skank at her (me = LMFAO) then we all madeyed her and laughed at her on the way out lmfao it was a good day. sorry i havent been so much on the blogs recently, i mean i knew it was going to happen sooner or later, ive just been so sick and in pain and everything. but das okay. :) love you as always.


Kristin Fort.

New Sexy Man?

So I met a new sexy man while i was dress shopping, c and KL documented out momentous meeting ;)

California Here We Come!

Oh God, Im Sorry Im Sorry, i know, no post yesterday, i was really kinda overwhelmed plus i had a headache plus i was tired as hell.

I did the norm yesterday, logic, anthro, and enviro sci. instead of going home i went to the gym and got in like.....a little less than an hour of workout then went to my lab, i was tired from not going home and taking a little nappy like i normally do. in lab we did boring stuff as per usual, that wasnt relevant as always we did like 10 minute speeches for an hour and i was nodding off ready for sleep because i didnt sleep well the night before....ugh. then when i came home i had a bunch of stuff to do, including my critical review and studying for my anthro test, then ended up crashing right afterwards. then this morning i woke up and couldnt find anything and then i didnt print out my critical review so i ended up skipping my first hour which was a bore because i was really starting to understand what was going on :(.

today was pretty cool. i skipped my first hour, went to anthro, skipped enviro sci, skipped the gym and just went home. i spent a while cleaning up the house because i knew some friends were comming over, then i did some dishes, and some laundry, made my bed, and just sat down to relax and watch some OC when my friends came :/ kinda a bummer but thats okay.

we walked to JC Crew and looked at a bunch of dresses, i dont think we were really seriously looking, we mainly just tried on all the puffy dresses and laughed at eachother. c found a pink dress that was stunning on her, then was sad becasue it was 500.00, kl found an orange one which looked amazing on her, i didnt see CFJ . i tried on a hideous peach colored one and a ugly red one just because they were in my size. and i tried on a cute blue one and a cute pink one. but they were short dresses and i DO NOT want a short dress. however by luck or chance i found a lovely purple one, it was very beautiful and the bottom of it fit beautifully, the color was beautiful and i looked skinny in it. the only problem was that the bust was too big?! that has NEVER been a problem for me before!!! it was amazing i was laughing in teh dressing room because i was so surprised! we all didnt get anything, but i really liked the purple dress. i talked to my mom and we're going to have my dress made for me and it'll cost a little under 100.00 :) so thats a plus, we're going out to look at fabrics and designs this weekend. ive kinda accepted the fact the guy i want to ask me isnt going to, so i think somewhat soon im going to accept Sergio's request to take me to prom., it wont be too terribly bad i guess. ill still smile and laugh and have a good good time :)

anyways, that was pretty much all if you have any suggestions on colors and stuff for my prom dress hit me up :) i want to be able to wear silver accessories so make sure it'll match :D

love you.

Kristin

King Henry VIII was a stud!

Do You remember back when Gel Pens were the shit? I sure do! i was looking through a box of pens in my moms room for a purple colored pen for something and i found a green gel pen. and was like :O OMG! so ive been writing with it. i love the ones that are sparkly when you write with them. i remember back when i lived in Port Orchard i had the most MASSIVE collection of gel pens, all my friends were jealous of me. i wonder what ever happened to them? probably, when we moved it was lost like many other of my things, i wonder if they even sell Gel pens anymore :/

Im going to keep this post pretty short, i only say this because currently its 10:50 and im planning on going to bed before midnight tonight, so im going to finish watching The Tudors season 3 episode 7 and then finish off the season with episode 8 of season three. In case you dont know The Tudors is a historical drama/fiction about the life of King Henry VIII of england and his life, the events, and mostly about his wives. there is plenty of stuff in the tudors to satisfy both the male and females of whoever wants to watch it. love, sex, fashion and scandal for the girls, and wars, betrayal and such for the mens. then i have until april when the next season starts.

Today at school i did the normal. we had a test in Logic and i was soooo thrilled because i got the first two problems easily, then the third through seventh were hell and i just couldnt figure it out so i probably failed :( i know alot of other people mustnt of gotten them so im glad for that, maybe he'll excuse that test or something. idk i sure hope so. we're studying predicate logic which is almost as retarded as whatever one we were just studying.

meh...tomorrow i have to go to the gym. luckilly, i completed my 33 hours of gym time for my 2 credit class, now i have to finish off my 17 hours to make the one credit, so lets hope i can do that. tomorrow im going to study for my anthro test while im there since yesterday was monday and i missed about four shows i normally watch, plus is missed out on American Dad and Family Guy from the sunday before, so i really need to catch up on it all.

but enough of that, let me remind everyone there is NO texting on my phone. idk how or why it stayed on today but i guess it did. woop! i guess i will just have to talk to you tomorrow, im sure i will have more to say hopefully?

love you!

Kristin.

Yeah that is actually Junie...

Hey Guys here's my daily post for ya'lls :)

I just actually finished studying for my Symbolic Logic Test and i went through my binder and cleaned some shit out and then put all my importante papers (like critical reviews/quizzes/stuff like that) into the folder slots in my binder. Im also going to write an outline for my final paper in environmental science because its due tomorrow and i havent really got an idear what im going to write about (big whoop).

I didnt really do much today suprisingly, i went to school, then to the gym, then i rode the bus home, changed into some dale ernheardt boxers, made a burrito, ate the burrito, and watched food network and fell asleep on the couch until my sister came home from school, then i yelled at her for stealin teh cookies!!! then i went back to nappyland and woke up when my dad came home, then i bitched at him because he went to the place to get my birth certificate without me. and big whoop he told me that they wont send for the birth certificates anymore and you have to do it all online >=( RAWRRRR!!!! so then i guess we have to do that tomorrow. then my dad didnt let me drive today like he promised because he was being a meany! so i got to be pissy all night, but my mom got me DINO BITES! :D theyre these kick ass chicky nug nugs that are shaped like dinosaurs. i like them because they are cute. when my mom was done cooking them for dinner *with other stuff too* my dad picked up a t-rex dinobite and then totally attacked my face with it!!!!! i was sooooo pissed because i just barely am getting back to my un-pimply acne face and those bitches are fucking greasy!!!!!! RAWR RAWR!.

speaking of pimply, awesome new do it yourself get rid of pimples trick i put to the test. Get some toothpaste, i think it has to have tatar in it, i used Crest whitening sensations in Vanilla because it smells nom nom. then put a peasized amount on on of your pointer fingers, then use the other pointer finger to dab a small bit of the toothpaste onto your pimples and let it sit for about 15 minutes. then wash it all off thouroughly and then your pimples will go away in a matter of days!!! i guess what happens is the toothpaste dries out the pimples so no moisture can get to it and make it dirty and oily which is what causes the redness and for it to grow. if you have a few pimples you want to get rid of try it, no im not advertising crest or anything, use colgate or whatever you want to. tell me how it works :)

So freaking W and S are fighting...AGAIN. its SOOOOO getting on my nerves, i swear to god i cant have friends without them hating each other. they make bitchy remarks to eachother and fight over my attention, at the gym W and i were talking about prom stuff on the bikes and S came over and stood right in-between W and I and started talking to me. Then W was being S makes faces and mimicking him and stuff. sometimes i really don't understand my friends. how do i deal with it? i ignore both of them for awhile....

Anyways, W, C, and KL and I are going to JC Crew Thursday after 8th hour to go pre-dress shopping ;) this is the stage where we find cameras and we all take pictures of us being stupid in a dress store, plus it helps us get used to what eachother will look like and offer support and advice about which dresses are more flattering for eachother, and what colors look best, as well as we get all excited and start talking about makeup and jewelry. what can we say? we're girls!!! i want to try on a bigass Quincenera dress just for the hell of it lol. dk if im going fluffy or flowy for prom :) either way :D. Dress shopping is usually where the worst comes out in some girls, actually it usually brings out the worst in me....i sometimes....mislead friends if they piss me off? like when i told W she should wear orange to prom and a fluffy dress which i know will be unflattering to her figure XD, but C is safe...idk about KL yet....muahahahha, but then again i bet my friends will do the same thing and mislead me. however i gots my loving sister and mom to give me second and third opinions. the kinda lame thing about MY body is that i have to fit the breasts before i can fit anything else, so basically i have to find a dress that fits my breasts first and foremost before i can even think of anything else for it which is lame as hell. oh well idk i'm sure i'll find something nice :D

OMG i had the WEIRDEST dream last night!!!! the guy R likes *for my purposes and for somewhat the safety of the identity of the guy we'll use RLI (r's love interest) for his name. anyways R and I and a few other people we knew went to a party, RLI was there at the party but everyone was drinking and we were in a room sitting on a bed playing truth or dare, then R passed out and i was sitting on the bed watching a horserace when this little kid in a wheelchair came in. i waved and he asked me if that was R next to me and i said yes. RLI said he was meeting R for a date and i was like :O OMG because RLI i guess lied about his age and was like 12 and a cripple and somewhat mentally and emotionally disabled. then idk what happened but RLI got all attatched to me and then was creeping me out so i left him in the house where the party was and left. and i guess without the help of his wheelchair he tried to follow me but like...strained himself or whatever and ended up killing himself. then i came back and was like crying because i killed RLI and yeah. that was it :)

I really need to start on my enviro sci paper lol. ima watch the Tudors while im doing that and hope for more really weird dreams :D June is sleeping on my lap and in his dreamy dream land im sure he's wishing all you readers well (oh yeah 160 pageviews?! DAMN GUYS!!!!!!) i think within the next few weeks i'll post that video of me singing Santeria RC requested :D.

thanks yalls!

Kristin Fort.

Oh and PS everyone, my texting ran out TODAY. there will be NO texting tomorrow. i have anthro club and gym so i wont be home till around 5-ish plus im going out driving with my momma :D nighty yalls

IS Tainted Love To Fast Do Dance To?

not Sure, but for canadian pop-sensation 'Stars' it is. :)

Hey Ya'lls Its Kristin Here, just finished taking a shower and just chillin like a villan here thinkins aboot stuff. Im really bored and as much as i dont want to (im lying i do want to) im going to yak about more prom shit :D I was looking online and found the most stunning dress, just about what i wanted to Prom, however its like 400 + Dollaras. :(:( its beautiful *featured right* its absolutely stunning, i wish i could make it bigger but it would fill my whole blog. but the beading is amazing and i even like the color, its soft and flowing and in terms of prom dresses its 'the one' its amazing, lovely and so....fucking beautiful! I would get it just for its beauty, it would prolly look bad on me and flow wrong :( but i dont care its beautiful i love love love it! but i cant get it, i know :( i didnt even show it to my mother because she would see how much I wanted it and would spend the 400+ dollars to get it for me and thats not what i want. but thats okay, im happy to long after it. :)

I need a date.. i was hoping D would ask me or something, i mean i know he wont but hes tall? and cleans up nice, the person i want to go with is going with someone else i'm assuming, i really dont want to go with Sergio :( hes weird and kinda momo creepy and i just dont think he'd give me the prom expirience that i want...i mean next to marriage and childbirth prom is one of the most important nights of a girls life! i want it to be perfect....i know im going to have to settle for what i can get, i just wish there was a different option you know????? im here borderline sucking up to sergio because i know a sergiodate is better than nodate to the prom :/ uuughhh i hate not knowing anyone but like four or five guys who all have nice dates to prom >=( ugh ugh ugh ugh UGH. maybe im just a dreamer? maybe im afriad of being let down or turned down or unhappy or probably all three...

Idk ive been feeling kinda depressed again which is royally getting on my nerves. idk i just dk anymore....meh meh meh. im irritated and ready to bite off someones head then stuff it into a garbage disposal har har har!!!! meh :( im always so confused i dont know what i want anymore...im back to being jealous of everyone like all the time 24/7...

ehh idk. i went driving again today, i drove to my grandmas house and we visited her and my grandpa and their new puppy who is SOOO spoiled, oh and the puppy knows it too. shes a purebred sheltie and shes very beautiful, did you know that the breeders glue the sheltie's ears down because thats a trait that is for shelties but isnt like an inherited trait? really weird....really weird.

i need to sleep...goodnight, hope im feeling less pissy tomorrow...

Kristin fort

Creepy T?

So A Few things have happened since my last post. last night i was royally scared to death. my friend T got on IM which NEVER happens, he started talking to me which was strange on itself because i havent talked to him in almost 5 months. we were talking and everything was fine until he asked me to turn on my webcam. it was cool so i did you know? we've been friends for about four years now so i turned on the cam no problem. then he asked me to take off my shirt and i told him no. then he kept persisting that i take off my shirt and was like seriously getting angry because i wouldnt show him my boobs, and about five hours later he finally just got mad at got offline but it really scared me because thats was Stewart did basically before i was molested, he kept trying to get me to flash him and when i wouldnt he had his way.

however about an hour ago T got online and apoloziged, i guess he was really drunk since he and his girlfriend got in a big ass fight or something. i forgave him hes a good friend, i just feel a little bad and concerned for his well-being.

on another note i went dress shopping today, i have a prom to do list and one of them was early march, start dress browsing. my mom, sister and i went to JC Crew which is on Court Street kinda by the Pizza Hut, its a little tiny store but has some GORGEOUS dresses. i tried one that kinda looked like this <--- (featured left) on that my sister gave me and low and behold it was too small and i got it on until i tried to fit the boobs which got stuck, so there was my sister and i cracking up and almost crying from laughing because it was soo stuck, i totally managed to get one boob in and the other got stuck and it WOULD NOT come off!!!! it was hilarious because i had taken off my bra so the dress fit how it would on prom night and i was in my underwear it was soooooo funny. then my mom got all concerned because my little sis and i were screaming from laughing so hard and i got up to the wall and bent over so Kaylee could use her man strength to pull it off and we ended up both falling over in this little dressing room with me in my underwear with one tit hanging out of the dress on top of Kaylee. nevertheless it was the FUNNIEST thing thats ever happened to me in...idk EVER it was soooo funny, my mom tried to come in and help lmfao!!!! I ended up not finding THE ONE! the dress i really want but i have a feeling i'm starting to get closer, JC Crew is really cool because it wont sell the same dress to anyone from the same school so you're guarunteed not to show up in the same dress as someone else, YAY! :D so heres my To-Do prom list;

1. Find Date
2. Find Dress/shoes and jewlery
3. Establish Group
4. Figure out transportation
5. figure out pre and post Prom activities
6. pre-prom fitting and hair test trial
7. confirm date and i are still on for prom.
8. Hair and others done ;)

thats just in plain terms.

so my mom and i went out driving, we went all the way up and down argent and then down road 100. i practiced stopping and going, turning, parking, going up hills, contant speed, and i also practiced going in reverse :) it was pretty darn awesome!!! i was awesome driving and it was soooo much fun!!!! Im getting good, my mom says i probably wont need to go to drivers ed, she thinks it wont even take me a month to get used to driving and to get my lisense so hopefully that happens then i can be like any other 18-year old. Plus she accidentally let it slip that her and my dad are getting me a car for graduation :D so awesome, i want an SUV-type car in silver or green maybe :) or black is fine, i dont mind white. just no blue or red or any other weird color but im pretty excited for that :) anyways, i still have a shitload of homework to do, and cleaning so im going to do that. love you talk to you again soon.

kristin fort.

I Found My Innocence Again

Well I Wont Waste Your Time With My Revelations.

j/k those are a couplea lyrics to the song 'Black and Blue' by Miike Snow who has single handedly become one of my favorite artists in a matter of days :) ---> these guys over here = amazing musicians :) they have really weird videos though :S like the video to Animal, and the video to Sylvia :D but they are still pretty amazing :D i really connect on a personal level to their lyrics and their melodies to their songs and stuff really swim through my mind and calm me :)

Im excited because tomorrow is a saturday and my mom said her and I might go driving :D i hope she lets me drive her and i in the morning, im addicted to driving! im kinda good at it and i want to sharpen my skills, every saturday my mom and i wake up at 8:00 get dressed and at 8:30 we go to mcdonalds get some breakfast (mom always gets a mcskillet burrito with no ROHO! *insert mom's funny spanish voice there* sauce and i usually always get a sausage mcgriddle :D after that we drive up to Roasters Coffee, this really cool coffee place up by the college with AWESOME coffee and good prices too :D mom gets a coffee, usually a vanilla latte or an almond joy coffee, then we drive to CBC where mom drops me off at the gym adn i stall for a while to talk to my mom :) then i head to the gym and mom honks at me and i wave and mom goes to work and i work out, then after mom gets back from work we usually hang out or go somewhere becuase we're cool :). but anyways, my mom said we might go driving which is awesome, it'd be cool to let me drive us through our routine saturday activities, if not im just happy to go driving :D

But Yeah, we went to Olive Garden to celebrate my acceptance into WSU which i am fo sho going to next year *booish* but its cool beans, my sister and i sat together and i let her borrow some of my shirts and my shoes so we both wore white v-neck t-shirts with a short sleeved black dress up shirt over and we both wore medium jeans and ballet flats, but we had matching necklaces, mine was in pink of course and my sisters' was in blue :) and we both wore our hair back and stuff because we're cool ;) we also ordered the same thing ---> this delisioso Cheese Ravioli, Kaylee got just plain marinara and i got the meat sauce stuff to go with mine, we both also got a Dr. Pepper. it was hilarious because when we got our dinner the server started to give Kaylee her plate and Kaylee reached to grab it from him and he all took it away from her and was all 'its hot, i can handle it, Im a trained proffessional' and totally embarassed my little sis so we spent the rest of dinner how to show his trained proffessional ass who you do and dont fuck with!

Anyways, I'm doing my critical review for Dr. Taff and i really wanted to finish that before tomorrow so i could spend tomorrow doing my Enviro Sci homework and then have Sunday to just chillax.

but I love ya'lls!

- Kristin M. Fort ;)

Cougar?

Oh, Hey Yo!

So today was a pretty good day, i did my logic homework RIGHT, and did it last night so i didnt have to worry about logic homework which was awesome, plus the actual logic class was easy as heck!! we seriously did like one problem the whole class lol! Then i went to anthropology and we had a test, but it wasnt too bad because i knew everything on the test pretty well except for one question about Hypoxia which Dr. Taff only mentioned like..for two minutes during class yesterday, but im getting a pretty good grade i think in that class so one missed point isnt much to fret over, plus we get to eliminate two scores at the end of the class so its not too bad :) Enviro Science was boring AS ALWAYS, but then i went to the gym for like an hour and a half and worked out, i now have 29 hrs and like 31 minutes i think :/ or 28 hrs. and 31 minutes but I have to recheck lol. but I'm doing good things are going good :)

Especially because i got a letter from WSU today announcing my admittance :D Im a cougar!!!! no not the kind that dates younger mens, i meant like a WSU cougar! I still have to pay up the ass for tuition because i can't find the free tuition thing, i should look for it some more though, otherwise i have to pay like 400.00 a credit!!!! EVIL!!! but yeah, im going to WSU i guess. Red is my color now. Purple to Blue then to Red... hmmm :) Its not too bad though i guess, i get to stay in the tri-cities with all my friends i guess, well whats left of them anyways, i really wanted to go to Eastern, it was like my life's dream :/ well, ever since i was in middle school, but i guess thats the funny thing about life, you gotta take what you can get, WSU is what i can get so i guess i have to take it and go for it.

So Riley!! *i'd insert his picture but he's getting too much photo time on my bloggy* his 18th birthday is comming up!!! *jumps in air!* happy birthday Riley and 18 long years of life :D, I'm going to pay for him to get his ears peirced for his birthday :D yaaaayyy! he's been wanting to do it for a long time now, like a few years if i remember right but he's never done it. I'd do it for him since i have an 'at home' ear peircing kit but i doubt he trusts me with his poor little ears lol this would be him ----> Before i even peirced his ear lol.

But yeah. I want to see Shutter Island! it looks good to me, and you know what else looks good to me? Leo Dicaprio ;) nom nom he's a cutie, especially when he was on "Catch Me if You Can' i really liked that movie :) but anyways, Shutter Island looks good, and Riley and I might watch it next weekend or something, If not then my little sishwa wants to see it and we can do that or somethaaaannggg. :D But yeah Im really bored and i have a shitload of shit to do this weekend, a test and a lab write-up for Enviro Sci, A critical review for Anthro and some studying for Logic. and i know im forgetting stuff. plus i have to get of JVFB and Mr. N to get on my letters of reccomendation for my senior project so i can get all my shit for senior project in.

yeah i gotta clean and do laundry and some other shit so ima go. ttyl lovers :)

Kristin Fort

mmm Pancakes?

This blog is brought to you today by; My mom's pancakes, which she so dutifully made for me on this fine night, they look a little something like this ----> *featured right*

Nom Nom Nom, I'm about to study for my Anthro Test, the test is on Adaptations and Taxonomy which are both pretty darn easy, Taxonomy is pretty much this thing to classify different species by kingdom, genus and phylum and boring shit like that, it was pretty much fathered by a dude named Carl Linn who like me has issues with his boring name and decided to jazz it up a bit and he latinized it and thus he became Carlo Linneus.

But enough about stupid Anthro stuff i'm probably never going to use, i think i should talk a little about my day and what i've been up to yeh? So i woke up on time today (horray!) and walked to the bus with my little sis then i went to school did a little symbolic logic, anthro, and enviro sci, then i snagged a ride home with my parents and i got some chickity china chinese food which i didnt ever finish now i think about it :/ boo! but i only was home for like a half an hour so i had to haul ass and nom nom that shit then grab my gym bag and hop on the bus so i could go to my Enviro Sci lab which are always on Wednesdays, we pretty much did NOTHING relevant...at all... all we did was write our names on a peice of Duct Tape then put the tape on a laminated peice of paper and then put petrolium jelly on it...then we had to go find 20 cars and their makes, models, and their year created. idk about you, but i cant fucking designate a year to a car just by looking at it? J and I went out and did that for our group and every car we guessed was in the 2000's lol. but anyways, after boring lab i made some flashcards to go through once i'm done writing this bloggy then i went to the gym for an hour and a half, i'm perty happy because I already have 27 hrs. and 11 minutes. but then again i still have to get 50 to get the grade for the PE at PHS and eventually pass....So suck on that! its kinda lame though because you can only clock in 1.5 hrs a day so i have like....idk alot of hours/days to go :(:(:( but i can do it because i'm pretty awesome.

Something else awesome happened today after gym, my mom let me drive :) now let me say here my brother royally fucked me over. My parents dont think it's right that i should drive before him, so since i've been 15 i've been waiting for his lazy ass to get his permit and start driving so I could. well im almost 18 now so you can see how that works. then Richard and my dad snuck out one day and got Richard HIS permit and screw me of course. my mom and my dad *being the orderly people they are...* lost my birth certificate so we have to go order it and it takes two weeks to get here from Georgia because if you didnt know i was born in northern georgia. But anyways, long story short - i still dont have a permit or anything so i'm not legally able to drive... so thats why I never get to do it even though it's my parents' fault...so basically i get punished and embarassed being the only person my age i know that is to fucking stupid to drive -_-" yeah hits the button but anyways, my momma let me drive today, we started in the CBC parking lot and my brother drove us to my uncle's house which is at the very end of road 100 and court. My brother's driving scares me, mainly becuase he speeds up when going around corners and he jerks the car around alot, and when he's going slow and my mom tells him he can speed up then he steps on it and the car lurches, he does alot of sudden stops too. this was like my mom the whole time <------ *picture left* but anyways, im not trying to lie or sound supirior but i think my driving was alot better, i was pretty scared though, i've never been out on the real road before and we were on argent, and road 100 which around 5 have alot of cars on them. When we were just about out of the road my uncle lives on the seat belt alarm thing went off and i realized i totally forgot to put my seatbelt on so i accidentally slammed on the break and everthing in the car went flying and my mom started choking on her ciagarette LMFAO. but other than that there wasnt much more i messed up on. Some Dillhole pulled out RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME! but i managed to ease the car so i was going about 15 and i didnt crash thank god :) I forgot my turn single ONCE when i changed lanes though :S and when i changed lanes once i forgot to check my blind spot to make sure no one was comming :S thank god no one was but i really need to work on that. i drive at a pretty contant speed and i worry because i find my eyes wandering to make sure i'm up at speed because my mom tells me i drive too slow so i was contantly checking to make sure i was at the same speed as everyone else. i think that i try too hard to be perfect and not just naturally learn and that kinda thing but yeah i'm pretty happy :) i also managed to make it perfectly in the middle of a parking spot! but i was going too quick when i pulled in so i pushed the brake too hard and the car stopped too fast which made us all lurch a little in our seats but nothing really that bad. its so hard to be consistent with driving if you cant do it once a day, or once a week or even once a month! the last time i drove was in augest/september!!! im pretty darn proud of myself however :D

I think that i really need to go ahead and clean my room and start studying for my test, Thursday tomorrow, thank god i am soooo ready for the weekend, despite the fact i have a shitload of homework to do this weekend. I really need to clean my room too is making me sick how messy the closet and my desk are, and i need to straighten up my bed, i hate going to sleep in it when its not made and the sheets arent all crisp and folded and such...

Oh and another update, remember Riley? this guy ---->
Well he said (and I quote) 'aww that blog was nice! thanks yoooooo!?'
i think that means he liked the blog about him? *if you haven't checked it out its my last post 'Riley is Secsy?' it's pretty good, it took like fifteen fucking minutes to write it, and he didnt check it until like....20 hours later (insert sadface here) but i think he liked it so yay!.

btw i think i have that exact same shirt O.o

Oi! and in case anyone was wonder like F or K, I like the pictures i think i'm going to constantly put them on here, they make my blog look fantastical so the pictures will be on here from now on, at least once a blog :) anyways ya'lls i need to clean my room and study some for my Anthro Test tomorrow, i did take a nappy so i'll have energy for the next 1.5 hours or so, maybe less but i got to do that shit so i will talk to you tomorrow or something :)

- Kristin Fort.

Riley is Secsy?

Heck Yeah He Is, Look at this fine slab of meat;



Heck yeah dont be jello of his fine sexiness and that you my friend are as ugly as this pimple on my chin *shows pimple*.

you want him?
you really really want him?

well you can't fucking have him! he's mine. my coolest secsyest guy friendthat is, so HA. Naa he's pretty damn cool and you'd be lucky to know him or be 'eclipsed in the long shadow that is cast by his accomplishments'. (liek that series of unfortunate events reference there?) which if i'm not mistaken, was the first book i remember him reading after knowing him. Lemony Snicket's a series of unfortunate events book five i think, well the one about the Elevator.

We met in mrs. Tot's class and we've had some pretty good times there. like the time he and that stoner kid raided my bag O.o or when he went through his whole voice recorder thing and i felt like a fucking celebrity since i had to say tenticles to it, or attempt at the dolphin laugh, which by the way was only successfully completed ONCE. There was the whole thing before sophomore year when he, vicki and i were on a three-way call and his phone died and he and vicki had a race to call me first. he introduced me pretty much to vicki in the first place who became one of my best friends for a period, he fueled my addiction to soda pop and cussing, helped develop my signature character Sepptember who wouldnt have been as successful in my mind without the help of riley's character Rylen. He even, if unknowingly, helped me win the Whidbey Island Writer's Association Scholarship, this being because my submission was a memior about him, i think the judges just had it out for riley :) Riley, if unintentionally, helped me feel good about myself and helped me learn who i was and what i needed in life to be happy, as a result of Riley i changed my outlook on life and learned to my surprise that I am beautiful and I am a pretty cool person myself. Riley also gave me one of the most special nights of my life to date (only rivaling with two others) HELL NO we didnt have sex -_-" naaa he took me to my sophomore homecoming and even though my dress was ruined due to a pepsi accident *shakes head* It was still one of the most fun and awesome nights of my life mostly in part because of riley :)

If You ever want to know this kid, its a pretty good idea. he can be a complete dillhole about 73.4 percent of the time, but he's always got ears and eyes to listen to read your problems, even if he cant offer advice worth a crap half the time. He will get pissed if you expect him to write notes back to him, but he's still a good writer. We will laugh at retarded shit like 'tots' or about dookies on stairs, or he might fall down stairs once in a while and still make you laugh about it. He might listen to the same Dane Cook CD with you a freaking million times, or if you write a book together he will probably write like one paragraph to your five pages and blame it on your large handwriting, or even laugh at some stupid hampster launching game or kick your ass at every msn game ever....

But he's probably one of the coolest, funniest, smartest people i know and he doesn't even realize it. I sometimes wish he could see what an amazing person he is :) I'm so happy to have him in my life again even as my best guy friend. I think if i never met him i would feel this big hole in my heart that Riley has filled with goodtimes. I think i wouldnt be as happy as i am now, and i would miss him if i never knew him. He's truely one of the most AMAZING people in the world, *yes he even outbeats Johhny Depp. although i'd take Johhnys looks anyday...sorry riley*

Girls watch out this guy is a ninja heart killa!!!! totally unattainable, don't try it. ;) his heart is reserved for someone special that he really likes who freaking needs to text riley up!! oh, and don't expect him to ask you to prom if he cant find a date as cool as me then i think im going to have to steal him or cut his throat with this little doggy --->




Oh yeah.... beware silly bear.

and remember childrens. Riley is Secsy! d:

Okay so i got my phone today, i still have the same number but if anyone wants to text me or call me or wants me to text them or call them i NEED the numbers, i repeat i NEED the numbers. i DO NOT know anyone's phone numbers so dont assume i do.

On the other hand i was doing a bi-monthly breast cancer check before i took a shower today and glanced and the mirror and the strangest idear popped into my head. another thing to add to my list of things to do before i die. want to know what it is? i totally completely want to do a nude photoshoot before I die. even if no one but i will see it i totally want to do one. another note on this, the reason why i do bi-monthly breast cancer checks is because breast cancer runs rampid in my mother's family, im just being cautious and actually its reccomended that all girls ages 12+ should do at least monthly breast cancer checks.

anyways, im about done studying for my symbolic logic test, wish me luck, and im just going to chill out and watch some sunday and monday shows :) ttyl.

Kristin :)

Moonday

So i downloaded Angel's and Airwaves' NEW cd thing called LOVE, because its FREE at their website, I'm not going to lie it does sound alot like everything else they do, but strangely enough im in LOVE with the album, great lyrics great beats and energy :) Young London is my favorite song for now :) but yeah if you're looking for something new then go ahead look up the angels and airwaves website adn go and download that shit!

on another hand my new phone is supposed to be here today, im like litterally sitting on the couch which is next to the front door and im like jumping and looking at the window at ANY sound close to the door, i think i scared the hell out of the mailman when i opened the curtians and poked my head out at him lol.

I got alot of sleep done yesterday :) and some homework, i finished my lab write up, now i just have to start my final project for enviro science and study for my symbolic logic class because we have a test tomorrow and i dont feel like failing that...

so i was pissed at my little sisters boyfriend yesterday... he said he was leaving his house at 6:20 to meet her at the movies and she texted him and said that she was leaving too and he said he had already left, then we got there and for like ten minutes he didnt text her or show up. then he texted her and was all 'im here' then we waited for him to show up at the front thing. and then ten minutes later he said he could see her. then ten minutes after that he finally showed up...it was annoying as hell. then i guess he gave some BS excuse that his mom's tire popped. but it was deff. weird because they handed eachother their gifts and directly ran off towards eachothers' cars and stowed the gifts away without even looking at them O.o? oh well. but when we went to go pick them up my sister got her kissy kiss :) it was so cute and strange because her bf or whatever gave her a lightning quick peck on the lips and darted off towards his mom's car. it was so funny because thats how Julian and my first kiss was. only he told me what he wanted for Christmas was a kiss, and I was so terribly embarassed so i gave him a peck on the lips and ran off home lol. must be a family/friends kinda thing.

So i have laundry, dishes, cat duty and cleaning the bathrooms and livingrooms to do today :( BOO. but at least teh gym is closed so i wont feel bad about not going. i should probably get a start on that somewhat relatively soon. i may come back to bitch about something later. maybe about 14/21 not happening. i didnt expect it to really but kinda sad, i have two friends who already have the 14.

<3 kristin

I Want to Get Slain.

Ahhh Valentines Day! horray?

naaa, i have nothing against Valentines Day usually, i really like buying and giving and making gifts for those i love. But i'm just in a bitchy ass mood. no one talk to me because I will probably say something rude and then piss everyone off which i dont feel like doing today so Ive just been really short with everyone so i dont say something i dont mean.

My sister is going on a date tonight with her guy-friend Oswaldo, they've liked eachother for like two years already and he asked her to the movies (yeah im jello...) and she was letting me help her get all supered up. I did her nails in pink and black and thye looked sooooo pretty, and then i let her borrow one of my hot pink t-shirts and my black vest, and i let her borrow my ballet flats to match the vest and she wore some medium jeans. then like an hour ago she decided she doesnt want to dress up adn would water wear a sweater and some ripped up jeans with kinda pissed me off more. i mean i know its her and she wants to be comfortable but so looked SOOOO pretty then she just changed it all last minute. she even straightened out her hair that i spent like two hours curling....its not that big of a deal but if she's going out tonight and i'm not i'd rather her look pretty. shes pretty always but still.

So i just finished bullshitting the lab i wasnt here for. we arent allowed to miss labs but i've missed ohh...like three. so i have to BS a lab report. which is good because I'm usually good at that stuff, i just have to ask around for data :S

sometimes i want to get slain...is the most awesome lyric in the song plastic jungle by Miike Snow. whom of which i downloaded their album and have been listening to since maybe noonish? i know almost all the lyrics already so yeah im in love with them.

i still have to start on my final paper for environmental science this weekend and i have to study for my symbolic logic test on tuesday, now is when i have to get my ass into gear adn bust out some good grades or I'm going to fail at life which i guess i already do but oh well....

But I'm bored as hell and can hardly concentrate, and like around 2-ish i just started getting pissed off so now i just feel like laying in bed all pouty and pissed off like... idk im weird today, it'll go away tomorrow im sure. maybe i will just clean my room again and do somre more laundry and go clean my sisters room or something. i do have to to the dishes and take care of Chubba and Chomp's kitty box, which reminds me my son is being an asshole. he didnt want to share the bed last night and when i tried to move him he growled and tried to bite me. so i gave him a spanking and he scratched me. so i had to resort to sleeping on my side on the very edge of my bed because i didnt feel like fighting with him. then when i tried to let him in he just sat there and glared at me. i know he's a cat but he's a bitchy bastard, and if he was actually my son i wouldnt be surprised *other than the fact hes a cat* he has my same bitchy attitude all the time. right now he's fighting me for the good spot on the bed. little does he know i'm prolly like 200 times bigger than he is. no wait... he prolly does know that. i have to give him a bath he's looking and smelling scraggly. not a good thing.

but at least my phone comes tomorrow, i am sooo soooo soooo happy for that. then i wont feel so confined i guess. My dad is calling me so i guess its time to do the dishes. i may come back and type some more tomorrow.

oh just so everyone knows, if you go to my profile i have another blog dedicated to this story i've been writing in my enviro sci class. its nothing fancy like i said before but ya'lls should go check it out :).

until later, I'm still an animal.

Kristin Fort.

"In your eyes i see someone who could be strong, tell me if i'm wrong."

Harold Angels!!!

You know what i'm never going to need in life? To know how "Ginger did not beat Michael, But we all know Michael and Russ worked together. Therefore Ginger won" needs to translate into ~G . M / M . R // R

sorry but im never going to need to know that. Symbolic Logic is the most retarded class ever.

anyways. i went to the gym this morning and S came and apologized to me. which i guess is a good thing but it still pisses me off that he acted like that.

but yeah, theres really nothing to write about until maybe later tonight. ima clean my room, do laundry and be all sadface because R. is leaving to wherever is cooler than me :(.

love you!

kristin fort

Oh goodness

Great Gatsby!

so theres some stuff I have to say, plus Riley says I have to write a blog so he cant write one (yeah i dont understand either) but anyways.

We'll talk about the boring stuff first :). So Thursday was Midterms and I didnt know alot of what was on the midterms, but!!!! No one really knows my magical ability to bullshit an essay, if you must know, i am the MASTER at bullshitting an essay, and since the midterm was 20% essay you can betcha bottom-dollar that i got at least a 20% on my Anthropology Midterms.

what else? OH! i am pissed at S from now until he apologizes for being a hoe >=( he keeps being mean to my coolest guy-friend R! it started the other day when i was telling s what a nice friend R was being and offered to see Dear John with me since i really wanted to see it and studying was more importante to S than making me happy. and s gets all pissed off and serious and is all; 'you told him no right.' and i was like; 'yeah because you can tell he didnt want to see it and i dont want him to waste his money on something he doesnt want to.' and s gets more pissed off and was all; 'but if he wanted to see it you'd say yes?' and i was like 'heck yeah!' and s was all pissed off at me for the rest of the day...then yesterday S got all pissed off because i told him i might not go to the gym with him because r and i might go to the mall and s all got pissed off and called r a bitch and said i care more about r than s. if S wants to act that way then i sure as hell will care more about R. than him... that shit pisses me off. nevertheless i didnt go to the mall yesterday.

but i did go today! and there was nothing but shit there >=( i ended up getting my mom some awesome smelling lotion and matching perfume for V day and i got my sister some lotion, some peace sign earrings, and these two really cool nail polishes that are like multiple colors (one is blue, then orange above that, yellow above that, and red above that, and the other is teal then black above that and then dark purple above that). idk how they work but it looked cool enough.

on a sadder note my mom and dad are really fighting again and talking more about divorce, my mom said she doesnt want to spend Valentines Day with my dad if they keep fighting like this and its starting to fucking piss me off that David is fucking ruining my family because he's a stingy peice of shit no good uncle who only cares about his fucking self and his image...

I made these flower boquettes from tissue for the girls and put them in these plastic vases and filled those up with candy hearts, the flowers looked real and the girls loved them. when i walked through the door to give them to the girls Rachel was so happy she was shaking with pure joy, it was so sweet :) i really cant wait until i have my own to share such joy and happiness with. :)

On a happier note!!!! Last night K got on and i was like 'omg we need to see dear john!' and she was all 'yeah!' and i was like 'go ask!' and she did and long story short, 9:30 K and i head up to the fairchild to go see Dear John at 10:00. coolest thing about seeing a movie at 10:00 on Thursday, no one is there! seriously, there were four other people in the theater apart from us. The movie was pretty good in my opinion, the ending was shit though >=( but it was pretty good, i started tearing up at a few parts but the best part of it all, the depression and heaviness i felt lifted as soon as i walked into my bedroom. what a relief, no more cryign myself to sleep or staring into space or feeling without purpose, i knew once i saw that movie all this retardedness would leave me like it did with Signs by Bloc Party/GG.

anyways, its V-day weekend and im kinda sad i have no Valentine! the person i like has another valentine so i am alone once again. im prolly going to huddle up in my room with some white sweethearts and watch PS I love You or something. i'd go see a movie but not having someone with me is going to blow. Im almost positive that 14/21 *ask me out on Valentines day, ask me to prom on March 21st* isnt going to happen. i guess i just have to flow with the river and see what happens

until another time d:

Kristin Fort

"At the end of the world, you're the last thing i see"

well here i am 11:30 at night before my midterms. im pretty sure i can slide through this one lol. but if i could i'd really like it. lately i've been so disinterested in nearly everything, im starting to skip classes again and not paying attention when i AM in classes. half heartedly doing my homework and studying. right now i cant even retain what human adaptation is!!! im always so tired, always so bored, im just blehhhh d: :).

So ive been writing parts of this story in my Environmental Science class, im thinking of starting another blog linked to my page that is just for the story :) that way anyone can read it and comment on it or whatever, its just going to be a flitsy project nothing serious, and no one ever reads these besides S. K. L. and maybe R on occasion. I looked in the mirror today and have been all giggly since :) hehe i realize how pretty i am d: hehehe. i love it when i look pretty because then im in a good mood for the rest of the day.

so hopefully i can get to the mall tomorrow or sometime relatively soon, because i have to get valentines day presents for everyone :/ specially the girls but yeah, i think riley and i are going tomorrow? i have no idea, if not then i have to hop on a bus and go all on my lonesome to the mall.

anyways so im slightly head of heels for *cough cough oyk.* but ive beeen feeling like im living in a movie, and if i were in a movie this would be the song that sums it all up in the end *you know i like stories that all add up to a single moment* so please take the time and read and try to understnad these lyrics. you might find something...unexpected :)

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall
If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

a good friend?

is it possible that i can just be a supportive friend to all my friends?

im starting to think that it is.

that maybe i can just be happy for someone for once than jealous and spiteful that they have some sort of joy in their life when i feel as if i dont? that maybe when a friend is feeling down i can possibly just offer them some kind words and my eyes/ears while they talk or vent? that there might be a time when i am able to think of others more than myself...

im starting to think this might be acheivable within due time. two of my friends i've been trying to be supportive of. like i mentioned in a blog earlier, im a pretty shitty friend, i dont really care about others, i dont want to spend time with others, i dont care about their live lives or their family problems, i dont want to hear about thier stupid weekends or what they had for dinner last night, however i talk about the same things. there are so many good people in the world i noticed last night as i lie quietly awake in my bed that i am such a horrible person. and it occured to me that i dont want to be that person anymore.

where is being spiteful and jealous and alone going to get me in life? answer; nowhere. so i guess here's to me trying to be supportive of what friends i have left. here's to listening to S. yaking about his wallcolors and to R. talking about his love interest. To K and her constant boyfriend problems and B. to her constant urge to work. and lastly, heres to me for trying to be a better person.

On another note i am sad to say i did NOT get the classes i wanted at CBC. since mrs. beraza is a grand *insert mean cuss word here* I did not get my running start form in on time. instead of yesterday by 5:00 i got it in today at 1:30. registration started at 7:30 this morning and by the time i got to registration at 1:40 almost ALL of my classes were filled up. the only one i originally wanted that wasnt full was Fitness Center with Stolker...so i guess my new schedule goes as followed (untill i can figure out what to do)

1. Psychology Stevens, K 11:30-12:30
2. Creative Writing Holmes, M ARR
3. Fitness Center Stolker, L ARR

and yeah thats it :/ now what do i do? any ideas? i wanted really bad to take nutrition with Sergio but i guess i cant now :( it'll have to do, its my last quarter anyways and i doubt that im going to get my AA anyways, i dont have that final science class (nutrition) to finish it. saaad saaad day.

So there was an Anthropology club meeting at CBC today, it was funny, im starting to grow on the people there we talked about having a fund-raiser to put more money into the Anthro Club fund so we're going to show like a movie or something. One of the members is trying to get Zombieland to be our movie. lol, meanwhile we have to pay for our shirts :( *sadface* but some of us are going to take the two night trip to Forks to go camping or something like that idk.

anyways, i should probably head off to bed, june is asleep and i dont want to wake him with my insessant typing *drinks some water* anyways, i will read dear john for awhile i guess, i still really want to go see that movie, but im going to assume im not going to and will simply just have to wait until it comes out on DVD. Unless the unthinkable happens and he asks me out on valentines day and asks me to prom on the 21st of March, but thats not likely at all.... so i guess until next time far fetched lovers...

kristin fort.

UGH DEPRESSED!

i hate being depressed.

like seriously? sometimes it just happens. usually when i go to the gym, or when i hear a sad song, or when i spend a lot of time by myself. which all the following have happened.

it all started with this dear john business i saw the commercial again and was like 'awwww i need to see that this weekend' then i watched it again to show my sister. OH. GOD. the song started to get to me, so i looked it up and listened to it. again. again. again. again and again! now i'm to the point where i cant stop listening to it and then i listen to it non-stop and then im in a pile or heap on my bed holding myself and crying hysterically, just like i used to with gossip girl and the song signs. its driving me out of my mind. nevertheless, i still didnt get to see dear john which makes me so sad :'( i need to see it to get this obsession away from me. my sister pwned me and didnt see it with me today and riley offered to see it with me but you can tell he doesnt want to go and i dont want him to sit through a two hour movie he doesnt want to watch in the first place...so that leaves sergio but sergio is like mr. 4.0 over here and has to start studying for midterms so he cant do it until next saturday at least and sergio gets all up and close on you while you're watching and is just overall creepy like he's leaning on you and makes you think he's going to kiss you or something which creeps me out i just want to go to the movies with a friend and watch fucking dear john goddamnit!

so now im in a depressed funk. my mom bought me dear john the book so im reading that for now... i should go though ttyl.

kristin

Going Crazy?

People get used to being alone dont they? im just feeling isolated today. really emotional, maybe because its that time but i feel like im going crazy.

sometimes, times like these i just feel so lifeless. so worthless. what good am i anymore? im not how i used to be, im not much of a reader, writer or drawer anymore, i've been hiding from almost everyone, im always irritated, i keep trying to recreate the past...ive been planning and scheming again...

midterms are next week registration is on monday, my birthday is looming closer, 121 days until graduation.

the prom spirit is in the air already, idk if i will go. i mean, i know i should go, its senior prom, but theres a certian date i want, and i can't get him :/. i mean i know i should expect it, but i still hope. Sergio asked me tentavely to Prom and thats fine, but not the prom expeireince that i wanted....i just want to be happy my last few weeks of school.

im positive the person i want to ask me knows i want him to, but i know he wont :/ which is lame but i guess i can only complain about it for so long. i guess i have alot of homework to do this weekend though :/ sorry i have to go to do that. i might come mope or complain some more later...

kristin.

My Life, Dreams. Wants. Can't Have,,,,

is it so bad to want the things i do?

im kinda simple. im not that complex, im not mysterious, everything i have someone knows about. i want things that i am able to get but somehow i always find myself doing things that are too ambitious for me, or too great for me.

i did running start you know? i didnt want to i still dont really want to be in college, i've always just wanted to be a housewife, but not i guess im destined to be a teacher.

i want to take a year off school, work, maybe do some volunteering. but no. wsu in the fall for me, trapped for two more years then i get a job. my life is planned nothing new, nothing i want to really do.

im not sure i do know what i want to do. i want to travel the world, i want to help people and do fun things. things only one in a million get to do. i want to live in italy for a year, i want to meet the man of my dreams, i want to have three children. i want to write for my friends, let them read my work, and be content with my life.

i want to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about my dad and his back, not have to worry about my mom adn her stress, not have to worry about the emotional strain my uncle puts on my whole family, not have to worry about what and how my sister is doing, not have to worry about my brothers emotional state and the ongoing bitch fest between him and my dad. not have to worry about if my grandparents are going to be able to get their retirement and go to Arizona like they want to, not have to worry if Kristy and Rachel are doing okay, doing okay in school, adjusting to their mother being gone, to not have to worry if my cat is in the house getting in trouble or out on the streets afriad and possibly being hit by a car. I dont want to have to worry about getting my college degree in time to make my family happy, i dont want to have to worry about my friends graduating on time, i dont want to have to worry about kelsey, if she has a place to stay if shes not in jail, if shes pregnant or not, i dont want to have to worry about if im really going to get a date to prom i want to go with, i dont want to have to worry if LM is doing okay with his current social situation.

i mean i know the whole world doesnt need me to function or take care of it all, but for some reason it happens to feel like that all the time.

what i really want, i mean really really want, is to do good in school, graduate, spend this summer volunteering at a summer camp, i want to learn to speak italian fluently to go there on my honeymoon someday, i want to get a good date to prom, i want to look and feel amazing at prom and graduation, i want to make friends whereever i go, i want to find the one i want to have three children and a SUV, i want to live in a house with a wraparound porch and a tree in the front yard, i want a dog and i want June, i want to see my brother and sister be successful in life, i want my mom to get her nursing degree and go on to do what she loves, i want my parents to get the health care they need and get back on their feet moneywise, i want to be able to move my house around once a year! i want to go to my kid's dance practice, music practice, or sports games, i want to attend parent-teacher meetings, i want to go to my sister and brothers' weddings i want to watch kristy and rachel to grow up to be the amazing women i know they will be, i want to see my uncle stop being a stingy piece of shit dad/brother/uncle and man up and take control of his life, i want to be able to read a book a week again, i want to make minimum wage working only while my kids are in school, i want to watch food network and make meals for my family! i want to try every flavor of vitamin water there is, i want to paint my walls before i move out!

i know though i will settle for much much less :/ i guess its something i will have to deal with, people deal with much less. i'm going to be fine though. :)

while im still dreaming,

kristin fort.