Depressed...again

One of my friends announced today that shes getting married. How depressing is that? How depressing is it that all my friends are living out the life i've always dreamt of and im just here. doing nothing, alone, depressed, being with my cat who i call my son. Its damn depressing and secretly i hate it. well no, scratch that, everyone know i'm not satisfied with my life.

Graduation is coming up, i still have school after graduation which is totally lame... but oh well thats what i get for going to CBC and starting a month later than everyone else, its only a week and a day. I signed up for my english placement testing for WSU, where i will be going alone because my friends dont have the drive, the funds, or the desire to go somewhere other than CBC so i'm stuck lonely for the rest of my school life, which is only two years, then a year of student teaching, then im off at a job being that one crazy lonely teacher who hits on parents and stuff...that sounds lovely doesnt it? thats probably going to be me though, i anticipate driving the shittiest car in the lot, being thousands in debt, living off of frozen meals, wearing lame clothes and living in a shanty downtown or something.

maybe its because im getting ill or something, ive just been feeling depressed. this weekend we are painting my room for the first time in the seven years we've lived in this house, horray, instead of wood/seafoam green/gray/white walls we're painting my walls yellow and putting like a brown pattern on the walls with brown on my windowsill and closet doors. we're also getting a bunch of carpet squares too so my room will have carpet... maybe that will make me less depressed...who knows...

We got some graduation invitations from my cousin Joshua, once again i was depressed to see all the fine things he has, like the fancy invites that cost 10.00 each invite and Joshua got 50 invites, also about the bigass party they're having and everything, and its the same weekend as my graduation so all the family are going to his graduation instead of mine cept my aunt Katrina thank god.... but oh well, i look like a fucktard in my hat anyways...

I dont have a psych test tomorrow so i dont have to go study, but i think i'm going to go anyways because im really getting angry/sad so yeah... farewell...

kristin